And as I’m reading the signs of being in an abusive relationship, I began to break down in tears. Because I knew that I had been in one when I was sixteen, but just reading about it, made it that much more of a reality.
I’m ashamed to admit that, for the simple fact that I let it go on for a year. I let some asshole that had issues, control every aspect of my life for a year.
It’s upsetting for the simple fact that all my friends were completely shocked when I told them about what he did to me. My parents were even more shocked, which brought the shame on me more. I have always been good at hiding how I really felt, or when things were bothering me. But I wish in this instance I didn’t have that ability.
If you don’t feel like going to the site, here are the signs that they listed:
Do you:
- Ever feel guilty about having your own friends and own interests?
- Often feel pressured to spend time with your boyfriend/girlfriend when you’d rather do something else?
- Keep opinions or concerns to yourself to make things easier?
- Change your behavior to avoid fighting with your boyfriend/girlfriend?
Does your boyfriend/girlfriend:
- Get jealous when you talk to friends of the opposite sex?
- Complain about or try to control what you wear?
- Call or text you excessively?
- Push you to do things you aren’t sure you want to (like sex, drugs)?
- Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
- Act jealous or possessive?
- Put you down or criticize you?
- Try to control where you go, what you wear or what you do?
- Blame you for the hurtful things they say and do?
- Threaten to kill or hurt you or themselves if you leave them?
- Try to stop you from seeing or talking to friends and family?
- Try to force you to have sex before you’re ready?
- Do they hit, slap, push or kick you
Now, he didn’t exhibit all of these behaviors, but 11 out of 13 he did. And it’s not like he was bigger than me. But he did a lot of emotional abuse as well. He made me cry all the time, and then when I did cry, he made me feel bad for crying.
And the worst thing is, what he did has made me afraid to be in a relationship. And I know that not all guys are like that, but it was a year, and then he constantly abused me after it was over.
So I guess the main point of this is, that stuff is real. It happens and it affects basically every aspect of your life. If you’re in one of these relationships then please, I’m begging you to get out. And if you need any support or someone to talk to then feel free to talk to me. I’ll always have an open ear to help. I understand what it's like; and feel like maybe if you talked about it, it would help you. I know that if I would’ve then things probably wouldn’t’ve gone on for as long as they did.
Sincerely,
V
